love like no other

Saturday, June 12, 2010

You Just Refuse To Change

I met this guy in my life and my gut feeling tells me that he's the perfect guy for me in my life. We became close and suddenly this stupid feeling called love built in us.

We both had our past. Our past hurt us too much that it took us a few years to recover and stand on our feet once again. So when we meet each other, all the misery we had during our past relationship ease upon seeing each other's eyes. Is this what we called Love??

At that point of time, he was busy with his bike TP. So, as someone who care alot for him, I gave him moral support every single day. And there, he began to like and love me for being there for him during his ups and downs.

When I was about to go for my Holiday with my friends and sis, there comes the bad news from him. He was terminated from his job as this particular company are not satisfied with his performance kind of thing. Then again, he called me up while I'm on my way to the airport and told me his sorrows. As for someone who really care for him, I gave him the moral support endlessly till my holiday mood change upon hearing his misery.

He started missing my presence while I'm away for my holiday. Even when I'm in Jakarta, I make the effort to call and msg him so that he wont feel lonely without my presence. He once told me that lately, his friends didn't contact him as they are busy with their everyday schedule. So, in another words, I replace his friend's position. Entertain him. Be there when he's feeling down and all this.

When I came back from my Holiday, he gave me 1 pce of good news. He past his TP and he got the licence. I am so fukking proud of him. He has achieve something in life. So, as a gift, i bought 2 tickets for us to go for the Paramore Concert. I know too well that he is so in love with this band. I accompany him to watch this concert eventhough I don't really know this band.

I tried my very best to give my best to him. Not to let him feel down for being jobless. Convince him / support him when his whole family didn't agree to get him a bike as he is jobless..

Every morning when I'm in the office, without thinking of my tons of workload, I make the effort to log in to his e-mail to send out resumes. Call up and ask people for job just for him. Make him go to a few places for interviews. He finally got a few job opportunity like Cisco / Warehouse asst.. But he told me that he got this difficulty traveling without bike so he let go of these job and will wait till he got a job.

So, after convincing the family, family agreed to get him a bike. So here comes the wreckage of our relationship. He once told me this : Baby, eventhough I have a bike, my love for you won't ever change. I took his words seriously and didn't care much of the slight changes in him. He began mixing around with his 'lepaks' friends and he neglected me. He didn't even show me his love. Aku yang terhegeh-hegeh dgn dia. But dia takda initiative langsung when it comes to me.

His birthday, aku buat chalet and let him enjoy with his friends. While aku tgh menderita kat hospital.. Semua pengorbanan aku kau tak nampak. Kau cuma nampak members lepak kau gerek. Aku sedih dgn perbuatan kau. Aku tak sangka yang kau akan berubah mcm gitu sekali. Members da contact balik pe.. Aku buatpe kau nak herankan btol?

Anyway, if you happen to read this blog of mine, just to inform you dat with effect from today, I'm going to be a totally different person. I'm sorry that I have to ignore you totally. I won't be answering your calls, I won't be replying to any of your msgs. I want you to feel that part of you is missing now.

Thanks for everything.. All the pain that you caused.
Reminder to all : Jadi manusia, jangan mcm kacang lupakan kulit. Part kau susah kau carik aku, part kau da senang lenang, kau buang aku.

Syida Estelle

{5:40 PM}

Friday, March 5, 2010

i laugh my ass off reading your blog..
hahahahah
tsk tsk what a miserable life u're leading now..
pity u fren..
im leading a super happy life together with my love, fazri and my gfs!

ok whatever shit this post is all about, i jus dun fukking care coz i just felt contented rite now.

meeting fazri later for alice in wonderland and proceed to night safari next.

love,
Syida Estelle

{10:13 PM}

Saturday, February 20, 2010

20.02.2010
When China Man meets his Hobbits

I went to his house after work yesterday.
Had promised to meet up his mum / family before i fly off this coming friday.. (im so so so excited okay)
So the initial plan was, I need to call him up once i reach Lakeside so that he can fetch me at the shop houses near his house.
I decided to walk around there 1st and see what I can buy for his mum. Cos I dun feel good going to his house with empty handed.
Im a grown up woman. Not typical teenager.
As I was about to start my search of finding something good, I came across his Mum at the POSB atm machine.. Alamak.. Tak jadi nak surprise kan them.. Hehe
I end up surprise him instead as I walk home with his mum.

So basically everything seems so sweet.
I chatted alot with his mum.
His youngest sis.
Himself.
I swear i did make myself comfortable wen i was at his place yesterday.
I felt so welcome.
I felt like im part of the family.
This feeling is so great.
Ive never felt being welcome by any of my boyfriend's family.
Apart from this.
Only god knows how much happiness i had in me yesterday.

So i end up leaving his house at about 8.20pm coz he wants to watch Man Utd vs Everton and im so sorry that Man Utd lose the game.. Sad Dog.. :((
He walks me to Lakeside MRT and along the way, we just cant stop talking about our past. He said that seems like MAK like me so much so insyaallah i'll be the one whom he wants to live with throughout his entire life..
My.Heart.Just.Melt.

So thats the end of my post for today.

Thank you readers and please pray for my happiness.

Syida Estelle

{9:47 PM}

Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Happy Ending

Im back Alive!!

Sorry for neglecting you Blogspot.
I swear i was so busy and i swear i was lazy to update during my freetime.
Well, im back blogging as you know, i want to share to the whole world what im feeling right now.

I never regret what i lost in the past.
3 years of relationship with my ex is not a short journey, like seriously.
Been going through ups and downs with him within that period of time.
Well, I always believe in what goes around, comes around.
And, guess what? I have finally found someone whom I really want to spend the rest of my entire life with.

Question? < Y i decided to choose him?>
He is a very simple guy.
I love someone who brings up himself as a simple person rather than being someone whom he is totally not to impress me.. Thats like a seriously turn off for me.. Eeww!
We didnt have to hold hand in public, cuddle in train or cinemas and stuff like that.. Just be ourself and that's what makes our relationship alive.
Everytime i see him, i feel so fresh.
The way he smile.
The way he talks.
The way he look at me.
The way he blah blah blah..
Basically, everything seems to be sweet wen you are in Love. No doubt.

Okay2.. let me end this confussion.
I am talking about Fazri.
Me and him.. Hmm.. As you people know, we are ex bf/gf thingy.
We broke up last year ard hmm 12 Aug 09? Somewhere there i guess.
Reason : He has some problem to settle so we pause the relationship.
No doubt, im in deep shit at that point of time.
But I didnt let this bgr thingy affect my life..
I tend to spend more time with my lovely gfs / family and fav sis, Yanie.
These people - they're the most important ppl in my life! Thanks darlings for accompanying me throughout my tormented times.. I love you all to the core! hahaha
Now me and him both realise that we need each other in our life.
We are not official in any way.
But insyaallah..
I want him to achieve what he wants in life first.
Then we can think about relationship.

Okay2.. I got work to do.
Will update you soon.

Im in LOVE..

Syida Estelle

{6:25 PM}

Saturday, January 2, 2010

sayang aku ingin berbicara kepadamu
tentang apa yang tengah aku rasakan
ada apa, ada apa katakanlah semuanya
ku kan dengarkan duhai cintaku

bila nanti orang tuamu meridhoi dengan
apa yang ku rasakan padamu
semua orang tua ingin yang terbaik untuk anaknya
begitu pun orang tuaku

kau takkan tinggalkanku
takkan pernah, sayangku
janjimu janjiku untukmu

takkan ada yang pisahkan kita
sekali pun kau telah tiada
akan ku pastikan
ku kan memeluk menciummu di surga

jangan kau pergi tinggalkan aku
bawa aku ke mana kau mau
janji ku padamu
jiwa dan ragaku mati pun ku mau

Syida Estelle

{12:39 PM}

Saturday, October 17, 2009

This is the update of what's happening in my life right now..
17th October 2009.
Well its been 1 year since i broke up with my ex - DF.
& tmr DF will be celebrating his 1 yr anniversary with his gf.
As a friend, I would like to wish, Happy 1 year Anniversary to the both of you.
May Allah bless both your relationship.
No offence, im being very sincere here.

Back to my life story..
Maybe to those who follow up reading my blog, you people must be cursing me, rite? (biler la si monyet ni nak update blog dier??) hahaha
Please accept my sincere apology for not updating.
Been busy with work and taking care of mum.
Mum was successfully operated last thursday. Syukur Alhamdulilah.
I employed a maid in my house under my account. yeeerrks $$$ again.
But its okay, at least there is someone who can take care of the chores and nurse mum as well as my sweethearts (iqi & dani).

I am delightful that Fazri's problem has finally been solved.
Alhamdulilah.
And yes, he did contact me again as promised.
I dunno why but since the day we broke up, I really felt as though my life is fucked up.
Yeah, eventhough I know its only about 3 mths old relationship, I seriously can't afford to forget the sweetness moment we had together..
Lemme tell you this, our love is so pure.
Fazri has never taken advantage of me at all.
Unlike all other ex-es (is there such a word, bloggers? hmm)
He loves me for who I am and the same goes to me.
Sometime i wonder......
IS THERE STILL ANOTHER CHANCE FOR US??
Well i dont want to put on fat hope!
BYE!

Syida EsteLLe

{2:37 AM}

Friday, October 16, 2009

I am meeting Mr. Fazri again this Saturday which is Tomorrow..
((:

{2:49 AM}